...

one more

2011-06-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

one more. just one more train dodge, please.

updates

2009-05-10T20:29:00.005+08:00

just my luck

wow... i got involved in another car crash. the last one was just a couple of months ago. maybe i should sell my car already. malas ata talaga ako sa car ko. or, better yet, maybe i should go to the our lady of la naval church in antipolo and have my car re-blessed?

cebu-cravin'

another downer is that i'm gonna miss out on cebu this summer. ever since my first visit last year, i've been wanting to go back. i had such a great time last time. this summer would've been much better since my cebuano friends are already there, unlike before when they were some place else when i was there.

oh and the lechon... damn that pig. i love that pig. anthony bourdain said it best, "best pig ever." i concur.

anyway, the reason for my missing out on cebu is my tita. see, last year she brought me along to help out with her bar review lectures. this year however, she decided to take my siblings instead. the reason? according to her, i'll just go out at night like i did last year. hehehe... my golly! oh well, i guess i have to start saving for my next trip to cebu.

grades grades grades...

the wait is killing me! how the hell am i suppose to enjoy my summer??

yet another year

2008-12-31T23:18:00.001+08:00

another year down the drain...

reading cases

2008-11-16T00:20:00.004+08:00

let me share some of my pet peeves about reading cases...

1. ponente sucks - i hate it when the ponente does not know how to write. i hate it when all he/she does is to copy-paste from decisions of the lower courts. ang tamad!

2. crazy petitioners/respondents - god, some of the things people do. sometimes, i wish i can go back in time and just choke them to death. seriously, they make life hard for us law students. imagine, having to read a long list of facts because these people just do so many things relevant to the case but are nonetheless either unnecessary or just plain stupid. i.e. you've already committed estafa so stop issuing more checks! or you applied for a loan so stop saying you didn't! you're an agent so stop filing appeals/motions to prove otherwise!

3. long cases - i hate 'em. i'd take twenty short cases over one long badly written case.

4. cases in spanish - what the hell?! it's already circa 2000!

hoping for another train-dodge

2008-11-05T00:11:00.003+08:00

shit! f*ckin' hate this.

see, tomorrow will be the registration for the 2nd sem and i have yet to see my grades. the wait is killing me. i tell you, it is killing me.

God, i hope i can dodge the train one more time. why do i even put myself in this situation?!

thoughts...

2008-10-30T00:13:00.002+08:00

1. this recently concluded sem is by far the worst i've had in UP. yet, for some odd reason, i realized i actually enjoy learning law.

2. i'm fat... probably at my heaviest weight ever. it disgusts me

3. can't wait to play golf again.

4. can't wait to work on my car.

5. i'm craving for some sangria...

enigma

2008-09-24T11:38:00.003+08:00

one of my professors said i am an enigma to him. he sees me as the guy who is never prepared for class... probably thinks lowly of me. who can blame him? most of my bad recitations in his class are the spoils of late night cramming.

what baffles me the most is that he seems to "smell" my unpreparedness. it's not like i'm always unprepared. in fact, most of the time, i am prepared for class but for some reason i get called when i'm most unprepared. what's up with that??

now, the enigma has a new problem. he just got news of his midterms score for the same subject. it's not good. shit! like things couldn't get any worse...

i was prepared for that exam, damn it. i was actually expecting a high grade. well, i guess now, even "the famous mr. lopez" is an enigma to himself.

i was there

2008-09-01T23:04:00.013+08:00

30th of August 2008 - eraserheads reunion concert

I WAS THERE! :)

man, the atmosphere was just awesome. people eagerly anticipating the fab four to set foot on stage. the ten minute countdown was the longest of my life. the crowd just erupted in the final ten seconds... 10... 9... 8...

3... 2... ONE!
"may isang umaga..."

this is fucking awesome! for the first time in 6 years they are back together. for the first time in my life, i get to see them play live. as a fan of the 'heads, nothing could be more awesome than this.

then goes the familiar bass line of alapaap...

"masdan mo aking mata!!!"

people were wildly singing along... shouting, jumping, holding the two-horn hand signal, holding cameras, cellphones, binoculars, etc.

every song reminded me of my elementary years in saint jude. i remember how my friends and i would dream of one day forming a band and releasing an all eheads cover album. i remember saving up to buy the casettes of ultraelectromagnecticpop, circus, and cutterpillow. i remember my then girlfriend---claudine---gifting me with a casette of the fruitcake album during the school's christmas party. most of all, i remember how much my dad hated my playing of any eheads tape in our van. "bastos pala yan eh!" he says upon hearing the real version of pare ko.

i was a big fan then so i was really happy to hear that they were having this concert. no, i didn't give a shit about all the anti-smoking campaign, just in case anyone wants to know.

all in all, it was a hell of night.

note: photos were borrowed from Jorem Catilo of http://spoonmachine.multiply.com/

justice

2008-07-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

there is none in the universe and i friggin' hate it.

"Simple Kind Of Life"

2008-06-23T21:10:00.003+08:00

a No Doubt song which captures my feelings right now....

For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple [woman]
So I could be a [husband]

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I'd be a [dad]
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good [mom]

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

first 2 weeks in 2nd year law

2008-06-19T00:59:00.004+08:00

well, what have i learned so far in 2nd year law? property bores me... i liked torts but the workload is just awful. labor, well my dad is a labor arbiter, so i guess i have to show some level of aptitude on it. (but again, i find the cases boring). sales well, can't comment on that coz haven't really read anything yet. at least, i get a familiar face for a professor.

anyway, the subjects are not really the reason why i wrote this article. it's really about the habits i developed, or thinking of developing, while in law school.

habit number 1. food trips. i escape through food. hence my grotesque one-pack-ab. my most recent was beef kababs, hommus, pita, and youghurt shake.

habit number 2. drinking sessions. i try to avoid this as much as possible but i still find myself giving in to a bottle or two of cerveza negras. i'm switching back to lights for fewer calorie intakes.

habit number 3. procrastinating. i'm still surprisingly lazy. in fact, i'm supposed to be memorizing article 415 of the NCC right now. oh, have a pile of cases to read for tomorrow as well.

now for the habits i'm thinking of developing...

1. smoking... while enjoying my kabab with a friend, i bummed a smoke. for the first time, i felt its calming effect. maybe i should smoke once in a while to relax my mind and take advantage of the highs of a legal substance.

2. actually using my study table.

3. listening to lectures for a little bit longer than 5 minutes. i always space out.

haaaaaaay.... life. i often wonder how i got myself in law school.

drunken thoughts...

2008-05-31T01:54:00.002+08:00

just came from a formal dinner... now i'm drunk....

some thoughts... moments of clarity, if i may.

a lot of people praised my date. in fairness she was.... is pretty. i can definitely see why people liked her..

anyway, this girl, as most of us do, has her share of love problems.... which reminded me of the famous line in the movie How to Make An American Quilt. it goes a little something like this, "who would you rather marry? a lover or a friend?"

i remember being asked the same question during my PLTC training in Saint Jude.... btw, PLTC was for the training of future patrol leaders in the scouts.

anyway, at that time, i didn't get the point of the question.... i was only in grade 5 then.

anyway, (btw, sorry for the incomplete or very short paragraphs.... am really writing while tipsy... it's a good thing i was able to get home safe and unharmed despite driving for a considerable length...)

anyway, back to the thought i have in my alcohol-filled thoughts....

people have their share of heartaches... everyone does... that i can say with certainty. life friggin' sucks!!!! imagine, i won a golf set at the raffle tonight??!! only to find out it was waived coz i already left to drive my drunk date home. now tell me, where is the justice in that??! F'in g universe!!!

anyway, back to heartaches and that friend or lover shit. drunk as i am, realized that i already have a friend whom i can marry... truth be told, can anyone ask for more from a future life partner? but at the end of the day... it's never enough. no one is. everyone has his/her own idiosycrancies. be it a lover or friend! (take that wynona!!!) people will find a way to let you down. no matter how perfect or how "fit" you may find them to be which really really really really (you get the point) SUCKS!!!

so waht is the point of this entry?? I DON"T KNOW>>>

all i know is that after arriving home, i felt depressed and felt that i have to write something. i felt alone for some friggin' reason which i can't comprehend. this is supposed to be happy night---an eventful night. but at the end of it, i felt empty and incomplete. now where is the justice in that?

brain dead

2008-05-21T02:03:00.002+08:00

lately, i can't find anything worthwhile to do. vacation has been boring so far. i kinda missed boredom but too much of it sucks 'coz laziness soon follows. procrastination is my forte. i have to drag my ass to the gym. i have to convince myself many times before i do some work for the resto. even writing a new entry for this blog took some time. (honestly, this topic came out of sheer boredom)

to kill time, i went back to an old habit of mine---reflecting. this is what i used to do when i'm near brain dead already. i guess this is what i missed for quite some time.

truth be told, i kinda feel lost. i can't quite come to terms with how i got to this point in my life. i think law school messed up my logic. i have to say, after law school, the world as i know it started to look different. i guess i have UP to thank for that.

anyway, as always, i did a lot of looking back. i went back to the days i was applying for jobs. i remember how i would patiently wait at the receiving areas of companies. i remember having the Entrepreneur as my companion. i remember praying hard while riding an elliptical machine at the gym. i can still vividly recall my interviews with MMG. BTW, i brought the Art of War that day. see?? vivid!

i realize that God has blessed me with so many "breaks". even the RAMCAR job was beyond my expectations coming out of college. UPLAW is yet another great blessing. Just the sheer odds makes me wonder to this day. But at the end of it all, somehow i still end up lacking contentment. there's always a reason to get disillusioned, to get disheartened, and to get disappointed. is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?? or am i just predisposed to be unhappy?

i sure hope not.

at the sauna this afternoon, i thought about how difficult my life has been after college, my safety blanket. i recalled a line in a movie that i saw once and can't remember now what it was about or what its name was. the line says that achieving great things is difficult because if it was easy everyone else would be doing it. ok, so i have the motivational line checked.

now i only need one thing --- a calling.

cebu

2008-04-15T20:21:00.005+08:00

i spent four days in cebu. i'm in love with that city. for a laid-back person like me, cebu is the place to be. everything is just, as alice puts it, "a ten-minute drive away." how can you not like that? oh! and they also have their own version of nlex in the form of srp. man, that road made me wish i had eleanor with me. now, if only the place is less populated and a little less smoggy then it'll be perfect.

anyway, i guess one of the reasons i enjoyed cebu so much is the fact that i got to take a time out from everything. it's been a while since i had time to bum around. thanks to alice, i also had my steady supply of alcohol during my stay there. bummin' around plus alcohol is exactly what i needed to recharge after finishing my first year in law school. don't get me started how stressful my first year in law was...

damn! i miss their lechon already.

25

2008-04-06T23:20:00.002+08:00

yes, i'm that old.

yesterday, i made time to celebrate my birthday in spite of my being behind in preparations for crim 2. i started my day by rushing to makati to pick up abi so we can celebrate my birthday over lunch. it didn't go well in the beginning because of one reason which snowballed into one big fight inside my car. for some unexplainable phenomenon, there was traffic in edsa on a saturday morning. of course, ever the impatient one, i got---well---impatient. the supposed ten-minute cruise became an hour's worth of cursing and honking.

when i finally got to our rendezvous point, abi wasn't there. i blew up. i was so hungry at the point and so pissed because of the traffic that i wasn't able to control my anger. i called her and screamed and screamed and... guess what?... screamed. i was so mad because she wasn't there and i had to make a couple of rounds around the block just so i won't have to pay a parking fee. of course, she also screamed back. :)

anyway, after all the screaming and fighting, we patched things up. we ended up eating at this place near her office. boy, was their food good. nothing like soul food to shut up two quarreling lovers. damn, i would love to have that salmon again one of these days.

after lunch, my day started getting better and better. it turned my worst day ever into my best birthday ever. i'm glad abi was there. in a way, i'm glad we had that fight because that became the turning point of my day.

abi also joined my family for dinner that day. my mom and my sister prepared a spread that night. my birthday would never be complete without spending time with my family. of course, it's a little bit more special this time around because abi was there.

swinging away

2008-02-24T22:24:00.003+08:00

i love golf. i just love hitting those balls as hard as i can and then watch them fly through the air.i just broke my seven iron, for the second time, yesterday morning. still, i kept on swinging like a madman until i realized i have already consumed five buckets of golf balls.

hopefully, i can invest enough time finally perfect my swing and play a decent round.

Singapore - Lau Pa Sat Hawker Center

2008-02-24T01:28:00.007+08:00

i've always wanted to try authentic singaporean hawker food. so when i was in singapore i made it a point to try some. the lau pa sat (if i got the name right) hawker center didn't disappoint.

one of the things in my must-try-list is the roti prata. for some reason, it took me a while to find a stall that sells one. at first, all i could find were stores selling chapati-es and samosas. anyway, when i finally found a store, they refused to sell just the roti prata. i had to buy it with their chicken. paired with milk tea, it was a pretty good meal already. i didn't know breaded fried chicken would go so well with curry. it's like chicken and waffles indian-style. the only thing that i didn't like was that the roti prata was cold. however, that was soon remedied when i ordered their... roti stuffed with mutton! now, this was prepared on the spot and served piping hot. very tasty. the roti was soft and flaky--- just the way i expected it to be. the mutton stuffing was very tender with some hint of curry in it.

of course, when in singapore, you do what the singaporeans do--- eat fish head curry! now this is one spicy dish. actually, too spicy for me. i was sweating like pig after a few bites. the fish head was good enough for 2 to 3 persons. it took quite a while to prepare but it was worth the wait.

overwhelmed

2008-02-23T13:32:00.002+08:00

sometimes i get so overwhelmed with the number of things i have to do in a day. often times i get overwhelmed with things i have no control of. this is one of those days. i find myself helpless again. i don't even get frustrated anymore. i just get depressed and miserable.

i hate being not in control when things get sour. i just hate it.

sometimes, i tell myself, "now would be a good day to die." i say this because a part of me considers there is no life after death. i think that if i just die during one of my helpless days, i wouldn't feel losing much. i mean, if there is indeed no life after death, then what i have is what i have today. and, if my "today" isn't exactly a great day, then dying wouldn't be such a bummer. but that's just me being an atheist---thanks to my consti2 classes. (don't ask)

valentine's at bellore

2008-02-21T00:46:00.010+08:00

where else would i spend this year's valentine's dinner with abi? what better way to spend it with your family at the next table? hahahaha.... talk about embarrassing.

anyway, here are some photos from our dinner that night. just please pardon my amateurish shots.

no, we didn't open the wine... it's funny how my dad kept on insisting that i open the wine. he even volunteered to pay for it! akala siguro nagtitipid na naman ako. abi just didn't feel like having wine that night.
we started with this... some fruits and greens with feta cheese.

i had the salmon in caper sauce...
she had the stand rib roast au jus.for dessert, she had the "cheesy" (note the "i love you" written in butterscotch) mascarpone cheesecake...
i had the molten chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream.
it was a great night. both of us were able to take a break from our hectic schedules and just enjoy a cozy dinner together. of course, it wasn't as cozy since my family was just in the other table. i even got a sermon from my mom for making abi wait at the resto. (i came late because i went out to get abi flowers.)

lost... wallet! @#$@%$

2008-01-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

wtf!

now i lose my wallet?!

don't ask me how 'coz i don't have the slightest idea on how i lost my wallet.

man, now i have to run all those affidavits and applications. fcuk!!! that wallet has been through so much. it was there when i try to stretch the 800 peso allowance for a week. it was there for my first pay. it was there for my richer days. it was there for my back-to-student-budget budget.

heck, that wallet has all my plastics! from credit cards to my time zone card... and oh! my discount cards...

damn!

lost... AGAIN!

2007-12-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

we lost youghurt again. unbelievable.

updates

2007-12-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

taking a shot at the resto industry

our resto opened this december. for the longest time, it was a dream of mine to own one. finally, with the help of my partners, relatives, and friends, that dream became a reality. i couldn't be happier.

however, i soon realized that it's not all peaches and cream. running a restaurant is so much more difficult than i had imagined it to be. i couldn't even begin to think how i would've handled everything on my own. but i'm not really complaining because i know that this is a learning process. whatever difficulties i encounter, i consider it part of the birth pains of the business.

i have faith that in due time, we'll get the hang of things.

law school taking hits

as a direct consequence of my involvement with the resto, my studies have taken a backseat. wait! actually, it was moved to the trunk. hehehe... anyway, i intend to make up for lost time by reading this christmas break. i'm allocating three days for it. goodluck to me, mr. lazy.

still confused (no. not sexually)

i'm still the same confused person, probably even more confused now than ever before. i can't say my life is a total mess but just probably a bit messy. i work hard to set things straight but there are just some things i can't control...yet.

i guess this is my share of the aches and pains that the world has to offer.

golf

2007-11-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

after so many years, i played the sport once again. boy, did i miss hitting those long ones. i guess i have to thank law school for that. the stress of trying to cram all those info in my poor and seldom used brain took it's toll.

anyway, after rediscovering my passion for the game, i was dead set on doing it on a regular basis. it was very timely for my dad to find this thrift shop that sells used golf sets. hehe... i got me a set of taylormade drivers for practically nothing! a steal! i can't wait to try them out this coming week.

some updates

2007-10-29T20:22:00.000+08:00

1. first sem over
i thought i'd never last a sem but, thankfully, i did. now all i have to do is wait for my grades. i'm most concerned with my crim and consti grades. i hope i pass my finals. i swear, i'll study more in the 2nd sem... swear! crammin' just won't cut it in law school. i had to find that out the hard way.

2. sem break
if only i can have a longer break. start pa lang ng break may drama na agad eh. anyway, i'm still savoring every second of it. i need the break after a tough grind for the finals. however, somehow two parties won't cut it. i think i need to get drunk at least once more before reg.

3. resto
my dream is finally upon reach. constructions for the resto have been going well so far. a couple of weeks more and i think we'll be operational already. the thought of balancing law school and my resto duties already send chills down my spine. shux, i better learn to manage my time well.

4. haulin' my ass to the gym
i started working out again. i hope to lose some pounds before the break ends and hopefully follow through all the way to the Christmas break. my target is to lose 40 pounds before february.

5. off to davao
i'll be spending several days in davao. God, do i need this one. i'm hoping being away from everything will help me think clearly and settle some issues that have been bothering me since midway through the sem. now, if only i can get myself to start packing for the trip.

survival

2007-09-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

it's official, my first sem in law school is a mess. my life is a mess.

i'm seriously at a loss right now. i don't know what the hell got into me and made me pursue law. classic arvi at it's best.

anyway, the latest blow came just last thursday. i must admit, i didn't see it coming, not this soon at least. i don't know why it's so hard for me to accept. i always thought it's something i can always handle. obviously, i was wrong. masakit din pala para sa akin.

anyway, my game plan for this sem is to survive. i just want to survive the first sem and pass all my exams. i always said that i wouldn't care any less if i got kicked out. however, i have a very big ego to stroke so i would still want to leave law school on my own terms.

anyway, i have a week to prepare for my first exams. here's me hoping hard for some breaks.

drama

2007-09-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

i'm really disappointed with law school. of all places, i never expected to see, and experience first hand, so much drama take place in a room named after some generous donor. it's like high school all over again, only the people know much more. maybe the reason why drama is a bit over the top?

anyway, i think i have been bitten by the drama bug going around the block. my life right now feels like it's something taken out of a local soap opera script. maybe the atmosphere has gotten into me? i don't know. at this point, all i know is that i'm very disappointed with law school.

maybe i'm right, maybe UP should consider including an EQ test in the LAE. that way, they could filter out the sane ones from the not-so-sane, to the how-the-hell-is-this-person-in-law-school? ones.

breaking an angel's heart

2007-09-01T08:50:00.001+08:00

without a shadow of a doubt, the hardest thing i had to do in my life.

kundiman - rivermaya

2007-08-29T21:11:00.001+08:00

Paraiso
Akitin mo ako
Sa anino
Ng gabing nakayuko
Sa kalsadang dinaanan
Natin minsan
Paraiso...
Paraiso...
Kailan kaya ako magbabalik
Sa piling ng iyong mundo?
Muli bang bubulagin ng
Isang Nanunukso?
Ang tinig mo sa hangin ay
Kalibre ng gabo.
Pigilan ako...
Tigilan mo ako!
Kailan kaya ako magbabalik
Sa piling ng iyong mundo?
Kailan kaya ako magbabalik?
Hindi na siguro
asa ka pa!
Ayy... huwag sanang isiping
Ako ang siyang nagkulang.
Ayy... kundiman ba ito?
Ayy... huwag sanang isiping
Ako ang siyang lumisan.
hoy..........ginamit mo ako!

kape

2007-08-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

sa dulo ng pait
malalasap ang tamis.
mapakla naman
kapag instant
ang ininom.

weekend warrior

2007-08-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

it's weird to see myself do so many things over the weekend. by things, i mean foolish and childish things. things that don't go with my being a law student and a rational person. things that don't go with my self-perception. it sucks, but i learned something bad about myself over this weekend.

anyway, i told a friend that i was living life in the fast lane that weekend. very little thinking was involved, as long as it felt good then bang! very little guilt was involved, which frustrated me so much the following morning.

i capped my weekend with a midnight run at antipolo. my friend and i wanted to have dinner somewhere far but tagaytay was just a little too far at that time of the day.

so there...

instead of doing what i'm supposed to do, i decided to take one last shot at my awesome weekend. man, i have to say... not thinking feels pretty damn good. but, coming to your senses the following morning feels like crap.

2

2007-08-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

last night, abi and i celebrated our 2nd anniversary. that's officially the longest relationship i had and i'm glad it's with her. she's my best friend and she's my girlfriend at the same time.

what can i say?

best thing in my life right now.

alternate careers

2007-08-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

i should be reading... but i'm dreaming...

career number 1: food critic

this would be a nice career. imagine, being invited to sample the latest restos around the country for free or for a fee? hmmm... yum yum!

career number 2: race car driver

i love cars! i love to attack turns at full speed... or at least at the fastest speed my stock car can take before turning over. if i have the money for it... i'll be in the batangas racing circuit right now doing hot laps and burning rubber.

career number 3: professional basketball player

who did not dream of becoming one at some point in their lives? play for pay baby!

you can quote me on this one!

2007-08-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

Masarap mag-isa kung kasama mo ang sarili mo.

i've got nothing

2007-08-06T00:46:00.000+08:00

i remember one time during our INTAC days in the ateneo, where the facilitator gave each of us a certain amount of "money" to bid for certain traits/things we would want to have/acquire during our stay in college. i remember out-bidding everyone for one single trait...

but before we get to that, i would like to list down some of the things i have right now in my life...

1. a great girlfriend
2. a college diploma from a reputable institution
3. work experience
4. some amount of money (quickly dwindling because i no longer have pay days to look forward to)
5. a car (an oldie but a goodie)
6. an opportunity to get another diploma from yet another reputable institution
7. supportive and loving parents
8. great family (relatives, cousins...)
9. a cute dog

all those things, i am blessed with and yet all those don't quite add up to contentment and happiness. somehow, i never seem to find happiness at all.

i start to wonder, am i predisposed to be perpetually unhappy?

then i remembered... that thing i bid for---peace of mind.

without it, i have nothing.

drifting away

2007-08-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

as i tried in vain to read for my legal history class tomorrow, i found myself drifting away in la la land. see, legal history is without a doubt, the most boring subject for me. i see no point in it at all. it's a friggin' 2 unit course but it rivals consti and crim in terms of bulk readings. i mean, come on! this is supposed to be a minor subject and yet it demands the most from us. i so want to drop this stupid course. sobrang paimportante!

anyway, back to my drifting away... so here's what i thought about

1. what the hell am i doing in law school? it seems i got in it for all the wrong reasons.

2. i have a very loving girlfriend, which is probably the only positive thing i have in my life.

3. i miss money, a lot!

4. people in my YM list can have the sappiest and cheesiest status messages.

5. i have to stop proving myself to myself and to other people.

6. i am a lazy bastard

7. what happened to our aegis? i want to see my yearbook!

8. maybe i should've been a model with uber hot body... that way i could earn money by just being ripped. hehehe. and probably have time to read philo books instead of friggin' legal history readings.

"grand manner" my ass

2007-07-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

there's nothing grand about me being in UP law. i'm still the same stubborn student back in college. i think i'm the only guy in our block that isn't bothered by the idea of coming to class unprepared. i mean, i'm bothered alright, but not in the usual way. i'm bothered that i'm not bothered going to class unprepared. i still find myself slacking off despite those truckload of cases.

-------------------

i went back to the gym. yey for me! weighing over 200 lbs bothered me. i guess i value aesthetics more than scholarly pursuits. hehe.

i started on a new program which made me crawl out of the gym after one session. i'm hoping to lose 30+ lbs in three months. good luck to me.

-------------------

funny story.

i really hope this doesn't bite me in the ass someday.

while, playing hoops with some upperclassmen, i had this bright idea to make fun of a very serious matter. before taking a free throw shot, i blurted "if pumasok 'to, one take lang tayo lahat sa bar."

everyone went silent.

lo and behold,

i missed!!!

law school so far

2007-07-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

so far...

1. i still consider myself more of an Atenean than an iskolar ng bayan. i think this will always be the case. hehehe...
2. nalulunod na ako sa readings but i got this advice from someone: "langoy lang!" so, i guess i'll swim for a while.
3. i'm still a lazy-ass student.
4. i miss money!!! this is the biggest adjustment for me. i have to live through a week with just the money i have in my wallet. goodbye ATM. goodbye credit cards.
5. less time with Abi = a real downer. curse those saturday classes!

so, am i happier now? i don't know.

my coffee experience

2007-06-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

i spent the entire afternoon in starbuck's so i could read for tomorrow's consti class. if not for the GC's i got from answering a long survey, i wouldn't have gone to that coffee place. i hate starbuck's. to me, it so cliche. everyone goes to starbuck's for their supposed caffeine fix. it's like the jollibee of coffee shops.

anyway, within just an hour of sitting inside that place, i am reminded of why i dislike it so much. a group of old people came in and started chatting loudly unmindful of everyone around them. unable to bear the noise, i decided to move to the second floor where i found other people studying quietly. charge the ignorance to my inexperience with that particular branch.

anyway, as i was getting comfortable in my new seat, a guy and a girl came up and, lo and behold, chatted loudly. i couldn't believe it. it's as if they wanted everyone in that floor to hear what they have to say. i'm pretty sure that they were aware that ALL of the people in that floor are studying. some people can be so tactless! as karlo would later put it, there are so many jalings in the world today. to make things worse, two more jalings joined them a couple of hours later. it took every ounce of patience to keep myself from yelling at them for ruining my coffee experience. i mean, for crying out loud, it is still a coffee shop and not a Chinese restaurant in Binondo!

eventually, it started to get dark so i decided to call it a day and go home. besides, sabaw na ang utak ko at that point.

found!

2007-05-28T09:02:00.000+08:00

after two sleepless nights, a kind soul returned youghurt to us.

sulking

2007-05-26T18:48:00.000+08:00

since my dog is missing, allow me to sulk.

it cuts me inside that i can't do much about it. i feel so helpless. when it rains, i find myself thinking of our pet. where could she be now? is someone taking care of her? does she have a roof on her head?

i don't know what to do anymore. the poor dog might be so confused right now. all i can do is hope and pray that someone with a kind heart took her in. she's just a little dog who can't harm a soul.

when i drive, i find myself looking all over the place hoping to catch a glimpse of youghurt. i miss her so much. i hope God has another miracle in store for me.

Missing Dog

2007-05-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

Youghurt, our family pet, is missing. She's a 5 year old (human years) Shitzu. Right now, I'm just praying that she ends up with someone who would take good care of her. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm really scared for her. She's so little and trusting. Anyone could've picked her up. Where will she sleep tonight? Who will feed her? It's even raining outside...

slacker!

2007-05-10T20:50:00.000+08:00

i'm spending my last days at work. sad to say i've been starting to slack a bit since i find it irrelevant to work given that practically no significant work is being thrown at me anymore. i think i pissed my boss off for refusing to extend another week.

as a slacker, i've been spending some of my time reading threads in peyups.com to give me an idea of what the UP culture is like. what interests me the most is how UP people percieve themselves and the so-called "others". as an Atenean, i'm offended by some of their warrantless remarks but hey, that is after all a forum for iskolars ng bayan. i'm sure they'd find the same crap being thrown at them in atenista.net or any other school-based forums. i also took time to read forums at atenista.net to hear the other side.

in any case, i was more interested with how both schools defended their law program. so far, here's what i found out. i'll also include my own comment after each claim.

1. ateneo has been better for the past 12-13 years in terms of passing percentage in the bar.
comment: this maybe true but as a law student, what matters is i belong to the passers so no matter how low UP's passing rate is, it doesn't matter as much.

2. UP, historically, has had the most #1 position at the bar since God knows when.
comment: true, but this is expected since UP supposedly gets the creme de la creme of law students which leads me to another UP argument;

3. UP has the most stringent AND most selective law entrance examination. Main argument here is they attract so many applicants including the best of the best law school aspirants and they select such a small percentage.
comment: it may be true that UP attracts the most number of applicants and has a very high passers-to-actual-enrollees ratio BUT it should also be considered that UP is dirt cheap thus it's natural for this school to attract a lot of applicants. Also, UP law is very famous already. i think Ateneo is already matching this status but its high tuition fee discourages most aspirants from trying them out. lastly, if it is indeed true that UP gets the creme de la creme then we should expect them to dominate the bar, and the top ten, year after year and have a higher passing percentage than Ateneo since a lot of UPians in peyups.com label ALS as a fall back choice for non-LAE passers. But as the recent results would show, Ateneo has been dominating the top ten.

4. Ateneo is supposedly bar oriented while UP is supposedly more focused in teaching its students how to analyze.
comment: isn't passing the bar a requirement? so why take it against Ateneo for teaching their students how to pass the bar?! on the other hand, i certainly appreciate UP's approach of "teaching law in a grand manner". i don't think there's another way of teaching law. it doesn't get any better than that.

5. Ateneo has a more demanding curriculum. (more units per sem becuase it is a Juris Doctor program)
comment: this i have to envy. as an incoming law student, i can't help but feel a bit shorthanded knowing that in another school, students are receiving heavier loads. i believe having the hardest training possible would benefit me in the future as a lawyer.

6. Ateneo has the holistic approach.
comment: as an Atenean, this is what i'll miss the most.

7. UP has OLA and Ateneo has a thesis and internship.
comment: this is a toss up. in UP i will experience REAL court litigation even before i graduate, which is definitely way better than any moot court experience. however, in Ateneo, you get to do a thesis and work as an intern for a law firm.

i'm tired so i'll end it there.

bottom line, i think both schools have something the other doesn't have. facilities-wise, i think it's a tie since both schools have good classrooms and good libraries.

i honestly think UP is perceived to be the better law school by a lot of people because of the following factors:

1. number of applicants (cheap BUT quality education---bang for the buck)

2. it has already established its position as the premier law school in the country just when Ateneo was starting its law program. (just look at the history of top ten placers in the bar. UP only missed being in the top ten once!)

3. being the first, UP naturally has the most number of graduates hence, more people to proclaim that UP is the best (school spirit after all is a factor). AND , more people to show their skills and impress others. perception is a very powerful weapon.

but if you ask me, it would be an honor to go to either school. UP has a rich history while Ateneo has been kicking ass lately.

passed

2007-04-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

how sweet it is! :)

blood boiling

2007-04-22T20:15:00.000+08:00

our country's most infamous terrorist group is at it again. after being silent for sometime, they sent a bunch of decapitated bodies back to the grieving families. see, losing someone is hard enough as it is. but to lose someone and then have to look at that someone's decapitated body... damn! to me, it's one of the most disrespectful things you could do to a human being. it's practically taking away one's person-hood. it's dehumanization at its worst.

this just makes my blood boil up to the point that i want to get one of their members, preferably their leader, and beat him up until he can't tell the difference between his left and right wrist. oh, i also want bust both his knee caps for good measure. but i'm not going to kill him... i'm going to send him hog-tied back to his group with a note saying "f*ck you all!"

those bastards! kidnapping a bunch of construction workers for a 5 million peso ransom money. how stupid can these f*ckin' a-holes get, really?! those construction workers barely earn 200 pesos a day. and, of all people to kidnap, much more, behead!

i refuse to say that group's name for they don't deserve the recognition accorded to human beings. heck, i don't even recognize them as individuals. to me they are nothing but potential punching bags and crash test dummies. they don't deserve a name. they don't deserve to be remembered. and they certainly don't deserve to be called human beings... not even animals.

party

2007-04-13T21:29:00.000+08:00

oops! almost forgot about this. i celebrated my birthday with my friends from college last april 4 to 5... it was the typical inuman session where i ended up dozing off and waking up with all my friends already gone. guys, i hope no one took compromising pictures of me when i was asleep. :)

anyway, some pics...

waiting period

2007-04-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

i had my interview this morning. i have to say that it's really hard to tell how i did. see, coming in, i was expecting to be burned to death by a barrage of nasty and provoking questions. i was expecting distinguished law professors to shoot me just right after i close the door. hey, i've heard of the horror stories that took place behind the closed doors of a UP Law panel interview.

but, instead, for better or worse, i certainly hope it's the former, there were only two distinguished law professors in the room. AND, they were uncharacteristically nice. i was in utter disbelief! the questions were far, waaay off, from what i expected. i have to say that it was sort of a let down... after all, i was prepared to find myself close to tears right at the end of the interview.

HOWEVER, something really disturbed me about that interview---it was a short interview. i have no way of telling if it was short because they had heard what they want to hear or because they had had enough of me.

and so, the waiting begins. this will probably be the most difficult part of the entire process.

now, if only those fraternities would stop calling. i mean, come on, i'm not yet in the friggin' institution!

the big interview... part 2

2007-04-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

well, here i go again.

i'm up for an interview in UP law, arguably the best law school in the country... or as preferred by their professors, THE law school.

anyway, i have to say i'm both anxious and excited about it. i'm excited because i'll finally experience UP law's infamous interview. i'm anxious, well, because deep inside i know this has the potential to be the biggest frustration of my life.

anyway, if their interviews are really close to the horror stories that i've been hearing then i'm good as dead. don't get me wrong, i'm not giving up... it's just that i have a feeling this interview will be different from my ateneo interview. i have this feeling that the panel will be out there to probe me under a microscope... and well, poke me until i burst.

in any case, i'm praying hard that i make it pass the interview. i would really hate to come up short after being that close.

a year later

2007-03-30T22:39:00.000+08:00

it's exactly 1 year and 5 days since i graduated from college. with around 8 month's worth of work experience and 20 pounds, mostly fat, gained i still feel like i haven't gone very far.

i really miss college. to me it was arguably the best four years of my life.

i certainly don't speak for any of my batch mates but for me life was so simple then. all you have to do is attend your classes, get passing marks and get drunk ocassionally.

i guess the big difference between college and work life is the pressure. see, as a student, you study because you think/believe that it will lead you to a good job. as a student, your optimistic that work life will be beautiful. you'll get paid to do stuff... very different from school where you pay to do stuff. i really can't pin-point it but for me, being a student had very little pressures at all. plus, i loved the pressures of an academic life... work pressure is ok but it really can't compare with the fulfillment of getting an A on a very tough test. there's just something about getting a good grade from an infamous professor.

oh, and i don't ever remember doing any monotonous work in college---not even for an hour. :)

God, do i miss college!

BR virgin no more

2007-03-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

no, it's not some position you do when making love... it's work-related. i just survived two weeks of hell at the office.

see, the bulk of my new job is to prepare the monthly business review, or "BR," and present it to the mancom (management committee). sounds simple enough so far, right?

the tough part about this work is that it revolves around numbers. hence, i can't apply my usual pambobolas that saved my behind so many times back in college. i can't just say, "well, the demand is up so the price goes up." no figures needed. here, my analyses have to be supported by monthly figures.

i have to deal with the possibility of being caught off guard with questions/suspicions/contestations regarding the figures i present. here, i have to deal with several VP's including an overly sensitive one, whose department I make a business review of. oh wait, i forgot about the president who's also overly sensitive with figures that "freak" them out. his own words, not mine.

anyway, another burden to my already burdensome "work life" is the new thing called "wigs". i have no idea what that stands for but it's the current thorn in my neck. see, they came up with a "standard" for us, analysts. basically, we have to come up with our BR within five working days from the time the Income Statements are released.

one of the analysts told me that sometimes it takes them ten days to do one BR. so naturally, i was freaking out because i don't know how long it will take me to do one. i mean, it's my first time to do one... they all know that i'm a newbie and yet, they decided to subject me to the same standard. i had no choice but to push my lazy ass extra hard day and night.

after all that's been said and done, i presented my BR in front of everyone last thursday. i was in luck that the president wasn't in the room when i started and was just as lucky that the sensitive VP didn't contest any of the figures or any of the analyses that i presented.

it was probably the most nerve-wracking experience of my life. i would hold my breath every time a person would interrupt my report to ask something. i had to keep my composure so as to sound confident with my answers.

i just told myself that i have to survive this if i really want to pursue a career in law. i would just have to get used to speaking in public... or more like being questioned in public.

anyway, the best part about the day was when my boss gave me a pat on the shoulder and said,"good job. good job." that really made my day. before that, i was ready to get fired.

oh well, next week is yet another "BR week."

i hope i do better this time around.

let go!

2007-03-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

"you can't always get what you want..."

i'm supposed to be working at this hour but i decided to set that aside to write this entry instead. after browsing through other people's blogs, i stumbled upon jared's multiply site. there i saw the pictures from ateneo law's "mr law school" night. kasali pala ang mokong! i could tell that he was having a blast with his law school friends. i couldn't help but feel a little envious. "dapat andun din ako" i thought to myself.

apparently, up to this day, i'm still bitter about that missed opportunity. i thought passing UPLAE will heal that wound...

so far, i'm still not happy with work life. there's just something about working that keeps me from really enjoying life as another speck in the workforce.

April is just around the corner and i haven't done anything to prepare for my interview in UP which could easily be the interview of my life. i really think this interview has the potential to be a turning point in my life. but heck, i haven't done a single thing to prepare myself except attend my dad's fraternity's weekly dinner.

i can't honestly say that i want to study law. maybe i'm just looking for an excuse from working. maybe, i really think that i can be like boston legal's allan shore.

also, for one reason or another, i'm just not too ecstatic about going to UP as i was with Ateneo. but i'm thinking ahead here... i still have that friggin' interview to pass. i really hope i pass that interview... i'm tired of the "what if" nights.

i really hope i get what i need even though i don't know what that is.

"...but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need" --- rolling stones

welcome andrea

2007-03-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

there's a new member in the family. :)

liv, my cousin ruy's wife, just gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

abi and i gave them a visit this afternoon. andrea looked so peaceful and so cute! i guess all babies look so at peace when they sleep. of course, it's a different story when they're hungry for food or attention. ;)

anyway, while sitting in the room, i thought about my younger years with ruy and our other cousins. i remember how every summer, we'd spend a good part of it staying in our lola mommy's house. i particularly enjoyed our camp nights and our amoranto days. we just loved the water then. time has surely passed and there i was, looking at yet another offspring of one of my cousins.

ruy says it's a different feeling to have a child of your own and i guess it is.

welcome to the world andrea!!

feng shui-ed!

2007-02-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

a dream almost came true last week. see, i was about to close a deal to lease a space for a restaurant. everything was going well... in fact, everything was going pretty smooth. i mean, as of last week, we had already finished our second food testing. by the way, both food tests produced very encouraging results. we had already purchased some equipment for the restaurant as well. most of all, we already had the checks prepared for the space.

i just find it funny that a guy who speaks neither a grain of english nor filipino can easily discourage two of my major partners from acquiring the space. apparently, feng shui has a big say in their decision/s. i couldn't believe how a practice of harmony could disharmonize our group with just a grimace.

i was so pissed that weekend... i mean, these are well-established men balking at a decision we had unanimously agreed upon. i mean, as if they observed "good feng shui" when they were building their careers.

don't get me wrong, i studied feng shui in my chinese philosophy and chinese medicine classes. i believe that it does promote harmony and all... but... to base an entire decision solely on a feng shui expert's advice is absurd to me. i always thought you use feng shui as a guide... not as a rule of thumb.

focus

2007-02-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

i need focus. even a friggin' feng shui expert thinks i need it. apparently, i don't exude that aura.

for some reason, i can't seem to choose which career path to take. it's really becoming a bother that i can't make a decision about it. i guess what disturbs me most is the idea that midway through a chosen path, i'd look at the other side of the road and see what i'm missing.

i know that i can't have 'em all but... well, i have no answer for that. i guess i'm just one stubborn guy. abi keeps telling me that i'll end up being a "master of none". my dad says that i have to make a choice now since i'm not getting any younger. i know i can't stay in the middle of the road for such a long time.

taralets!

2007-02-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

here's a photo of my favorite vocalist, aya of imago. this picture was taken during last year's blue roast in ateneo.

isn't she the cutest little thing? i've never taken a celebrity's picture before but after seeing her perform... i just couldn't help it. there's something about the way she carries herself on stage... parang bigay na bigay na hindi... just right.

anyway, she sings pretty damn well too. i could listen to her voice all day.

"taralets! taratarataralets!" what the...?!

but she pulls it off perfectly. :)

new job trouble

2007-02-03T23:47:00.000+08:00

waaaah!!!

I'm in deep trouble! see, this coming tuesday, i will join the Management Committee (MANCOM) and present my report on one of their departments. pretty simple, right? no! here's the thing, despite training for two weeks, i still don't have a good grasp of what i'm exactly doing.

deja vu

2007-01-20T00:42:00.000+08:00

[cellphone vibrates]

"congrats! you got in to..."

[heart skips a beat]

"pare, walang lokohan ha!..."

"p&%a*&**a! walang lokohan ha"

[business in the restroom]

[cellphone vibrates]

"hello"

"anak, nakapasa ka...minonitor ka ng mga brods ko"

"oo nga, nasabi rin ng kaibigan ko..."

i certainly hope this doesn't end up like last year's... as of now, i have some serious rethinking to do.

i thank God for this miracle. i truly consider this a miracle. i honestly did not expect to pass that test... nagkalat talaga ako sa test na yun.

New Year's Eve

2007-01-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

December 31, 2006--- New Year’s Eve

I find myself in front of my dated 14-inch Goldstar TV getting my ass handed to me by the Phoenix Suns in the NBA Finals--I’m having a hard time coping with Phoenix’ fast-paced offensive attacks. Frustrated, I pressed the “power” button and simply ended the game. I figured that I can always reload the season and start game 1 all over again.

I wish I can do this with my own life. Just imagine how convenient it would be, redoing something without losing the lesson learned from the first try. I can retake my first math LT during college; I can not punch that huge steel post in the college covered courts; I can rewrite some papers; I can ease up on the accelerator; etc. etc.

I can’t help but think about what this year has been for me. This is by far THE year for me. I experienced a lot of highs and lows during this year and up to now I’m still reeling from the ride that was year 2006. Let’s try to do a recap.

January
I crash my car

February
Cramming; took the Ateneo Law entrance test

March
Finished cramming; graduated; got into Ateneo Law

April
Abi leaves for the States; got myself out of Ateneo Law; became very bitter about it; job hunting; bummed around

May
Still looking for work; still bumming; went to Samar and had the time of my life; Abi comes back from the States

June
Still looking for work; still a bum; got really depressed.

July
Got into Mitchell Madison Group; very much elated; couldn’t wait to start working; no longer a bum; forgot about law school for a brief moment

August
Abi and I celebrated our first year anniversary; friends found out about us

September
Finally experienced the joys of a big pay day; slowly losing enthusiasm with work

October
Became a “regular” in MMG thus, making me earn dollars; still losing enthusiasm

November
Finally had it with all the Googling; quit MMG with no alternative work waiting

December
RAMCAR made an offer (whew!); wondered if I ever made the right decision by foregoing law school; toyed with the idea of taking the Ateneo Law entrance test once again

Quite a boring year don’t you think? I guess my little recap doesn't do much justice...

Anyway, I tossed a coin while in Baguio the other day. I was tossing for law school or career. See, I still can’t get over the fact that I missed out on law school. Listening to Jared talk about his life in Ateneo Law made me wonder even more about my decision. I want that higher learning; I want that character building experience; I want those ridiculous reading requirements; I want to take on the challenge; and by God, I want that friggin’ Ateneo Law jacket! But, at the same time, I also want to get filthy rich ASAP and spending four more years in school will delay that from happening.

I know that time is slowly creeping up on me and that makes choosing even more difficult. People say that I can always take up law in the future. They say that a lot of old people take up law. But the thing is if I’m going to take up law I want to make a career out of it. I want to become a lawyer not just someone who took up law after retirement or when he already has a stable life and has nothing else to do. If I’m going to take up law, I want to give myself time to become a really good lawyer. So, in my case, that kind of makes it a now-or-never kind of thing. I have to make a decision come end of March, assuming I pass the Ateneo test once again.

Going back to the coin toss… I assigned law school to “heads” and career to “tails.”

Guess which came on top?

bummin' chillin'

2006-12-13T15:17:00.000+08:00

ah life...

well, it's been more than a week since i resigned from mmg. i have to say, so far, no regrets what so ever. i guess landing the finance analyst gig helped a lot with that. being a bum can be a lot of fun---when you know that beginning next year you have a new job.

so what have i been doing these past few days? absolutely nothing! hehehe...

well, not entirely nothing. i've been playing nba live 2007 on the ps3 that my little cousin loaned me. man, the game has evolved significantly since live 2001 (the version i last played before my ps1 died). i guess you can say i'm addicted to the game since i've been trying to play my eyes out their sockets. anyway, i guess i'm just trying to satisfy my nba live hunger after all these years.

aside from nba live, i'm trying to resurrect my habit of going to the gym. you see, i've been out of the habit for more than a month because of work. i practically threw away more than a month's worth of gym membership and it's not exactly the cheapest thing. so right now, i'm trying to make the most of my membership for december. my flabby body is pretty much achin' all over.

i wonder how long it will take to finally acheived those washboard abs...

i wonder how long it will take before i get tired of my new job...

i sincerely hope it takes more than six months this time around. you see, working for this new company has a lot of perks for me. for one, i can just ride a bike going to the office because it's so friggin' near my house. heck, i can even take the long walk. no more weekly budget for gas, yey! another is that i can join ruy's weekly basketball game. third, it's a local company---coming out of college, i wanted to work for a local company. finally, i can have time for my other endeavors like the icecreamstore or the catering business.

anyway, that's still next year. for now, i can chill and enjoy the holidays like a college student one last time. :)

the fool

2006-11-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

Well, here goes…

I handed my resignation letter last week. Yes, it’s true. I’m giving up…rather… I gave up a 30k peso job. Huh?! Wha?! What the?! Yes… I’m a fool.

But before you start treating me like a biblical leper, hear me out first. You see, coming to MMG, I was the happiest fresh grad on this fair side of the planet. I remember going home very late every night with a million dollar smile. And mind you, when I say late—it’s late! I was happy to be working for MMG. I was proud to be working for MMG. But eventually, I felt that this isn’t what I was looking for.

It started with my longing for weekends during Wednesdays. Soon, I was longing for weekends during Mondays! I mean, it came to the point where I just wanted to get out of the office and leave everything behind. My heaven-sent of a job soon became my own personal torture chamber. I wasn’t getting the fulfillment that I expected from my job.

Thank God I have Abi to keep me sane during my most trying days. She has been my cane all throughout.

Now, my MMG days are about to end and I have to say that I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I'm glad that I am leaving the company. On the other hand, I feel regret and sadness. I am, after all, giving up the job that I prayed so hard for. I am giving my dream job up. And for the friggin’ craziness of it all I am letting a $600 job go! Yes, to most, I may be the biggest fool they have ever seen. But this I say, I may be a fool, but I am a happy fool.

I guess the next step, for this happy fool, would be to endure all the criticisms along the way.

But who cares?

I choose to pursue my dreams.

harassed

2006-10-15T01:15:00.000+08:00

7:30 am Saturday PST (philippine not pacific)

i woke up at the tune of "tell me where it hurts now tell me..." that was my ringtone. after mumbling a "hello", i received word that i have work today. it was an sos from the states... apparently, the work that i've been doing need some revisions and the deadline was Sunday 8pm ET.

i just thought, what a wake up call---"wake up! you have work!"

oh well, that's the nature of my job. you're "on call" when you least expect it. it's like rain when you're about to start a basketball game with the regular tambays. i mean, what can i do? really? i signed up for this job so i have to be professional about it. at least, i enjoy doing that particular request. oh yeah, that's what we call work coming in from the states---"requests".

1 pm PST abi's house

since i'll be working on a weekend, we can't push through with our date. hence, i decided that i'll work at abi's place instead. i figured "hey! why not multi-task on this one!"

work while dating...suave!

12am PST

i received an email again... i found out that i'll need to work tomorrow and possibly continue it on monday.

good times.

what i could be doing...

2006-09-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

looking back, (i do a lot of looking back whenever i can't sleep) i wondered how i would fare in ateneo law. see, everytime i am reminded of that place i can't help but recall the opportunity that i missed. i can't believe it was just several months ago when i had to forfeit my slot. it seemed so long ago...

ahh, that summer... i remember that summer. i remember myself standing on the third, or fourth, floor staring at my name on the list. i still remember how bad i felt that day. i really felt cheated... to me, it was so unfair that i had to give my slot up just because...

it's like an itch that needs to be scratched. i don't know... maybe, i should give it another shot. do i really want to become a lawyer? i don't know. shit! how can i be so indecisive at this point in my life?! what is it with lawschool anyway? i mean, this is so left field from my plans.

one year and two days

2006-08-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

note: a very late entry (stayed as a draft for the longest time). blame it on work! hehehe...

20060910_first_anniversary.doc

as many of my friends already know, abi and i celebrated our first anniversery last wednesday.

so now, here's my side of the story.

yeah... yeah, i was cheesy enough to pull that my-car-is-broken-can-you-get-the-tools-in-the-trunk? stunt.

but see, this only happens once a year. i can be cheesy for one night, right? anyway, the night wasn't about me, it was about abi. i wanted to show her a great time. i wanted her to feel special.

of course, it wasn't easy for me to pull something like that off. the nature of my job just won't allow it. but lo and behold, i was able to leave the office by 6pm thanks to my friends there. (you know who you are! salamat ng marami!)

i had to brave the rush hour traffic which was hell. imagine, i had to take a couple of alternate routes just so i could get out of ortigas. i think i was in ortigas for about thirty minutes or so.

after completing my great escape, i rushed to del monte to get some flowers. see, i had this grand plan of filling the trunk with flowers. however, in the end, i just had a big bouquet made since time wasn't really on my side then. oh, by the way, i also had to make a quick stop to my house so i could get the bracelet which i forgot to bring along earlier that morning.

i arrived at abi's house around 8pm. we then went to gulliver's... blah blah...

anyway, the rest you can read at abi's blog.

bottomline, it was a great night. :)

job hunting tips

2006-08-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

oh yes, J-O-B.

after agonizing for three months, i finally found one that i actually liked and one that actually pays quite well.

so after three months of going through countless job interviews, i can now consider myself a been-there-done-that person.

anyway, this article is entirely based on my own personal experiences. consider this as my way of sharing something to the millions and millions of jobseekers out there.

oh! by the way, if you graduated with honors, don't bother reading this 'coz chances are, you've probably been offered countless jobs even before you took your bow on stage. this is not a diss, mind you, but a compliment. i think honor students deserve every job offer they get. afterall, it takes quite an effort to maintain that grade.

now, if you are an "average" student like myself, then, yeah, keep on reading.

now for the tips...

1. send out as many resumes as you can
this will get you started with the process. why that many? put it this way, the more entries you send, the more chances of winning.

2. prepare for interviews
in case you get a call for an interview, psyche yourself up. learn as much as you can about the company and the position that you are applying for. oh! almost forgot, prepare to wait! a lot of hr people will treat you like crap and make you wait for at least half an hour. for some reason they have a habit of purposely not following the time they set for your interview.

3. learn to bluff
hey, this is the real world. you will need to bluff/lie/act/pretend. why? because, chances are, you'd be offered a crappy pay for a crappy job. why bluff then? well because, beggars can't be choosers, which leads me to my next tip...

4. acquire back-ups
yep, try to lock as many jobs as you can. like my great granddad used to say, "collect and collect then select." chikboy ang lokong matanda eh.

5. tough it out
if you're the "average" student (like me) who thinks he deserves better (like me) and knows that he's better than what his transcript says (once again, like me) then you would need to tough it out. why? because most companies are morons when it comes to hiring fresh grads. you see a lot of companies have this notion that if you're not an honor-student then they can't hire you for their highly valued mgt. trainee positions and the like. they believe that only "honors" can handle the job. again, nothing against honors. but come on! not all "average" students are really average. i mean, what the hell are those company exams for??

well, that's just me being bitter.

6. patience
you will need a lot of this one... you need this dearly. this part was extra hard for me. i hate to wait... imagine, going nowhere for three months.

7. pray
when all else fails. PRAY! this is the clincher.

first pay weekend

2006-08-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

what a weekend!

earlier this week, i received my first pay from mmg. it wasn't much but it was enough to make me feel good about myself and what i have now. of course, my family was expecting me to make libre. what a bunch of freeloaders! hahaha... actually, it was something that i was really looking forward to doing. i mean, after all those years living off my parents' hard-earned money, i can now pay for their lunch. hahaha... ang babaw!

anyway, here's how my weekend went.

saturday.

i took abi out on a date.

yes, abi and i are together now. well, we've been together since august of last year. so for those who still don't know about us, there you have it... now, you know.

anyway, back to my story, i originally planned a dinner date for us but things went south when i found out that a party was going to be held at our house that night. so, i had to make some minor changes for our date. our dinner date became a lunch date instead. there goes the ambience that i was aiming for... i mean, dinner dates have always been more romantic, right?

i took her to mario's since this place has always been close to my heart. i love this restaurant. i mean, it's one of those restaurants where you can never go wrong with anything you order. it's a classic fine-dining resto.

we began our meal with some oyster rockefellers. this dish has been a family favorite for as long as i can remember and it's something that i wanted abi to try. for main course, we ordered steaks. yeah! steaks! i'm mr. big shot now hahaha... abi had a fillet mignon and i had the mario's broil. both dishes were superb and we both liked what each other had. (we made it a habit to share our food) we didn't have dessert since abi said she was full already. sayang! i was hoping to order the mango jubillee for her to try. oh well, there's always next time.

it was nice to share an expensive meal (the bill was screaming, "expensive!") without us having to worry about our personal budgets for the following day. i'm really glad that i was able to take her out to mario's. come to think of it, there was this time when i said to myself that the next time i had a girlfriend, i would take her to mario's. wow! i just realized that just now. abi was that girl!

after having lunch, we went to gateway. we initially planned to see a movie but abi had a change of heart when we arrived. she wanted to walk around first and window shop for awhile. so window shop we did! we went to just about any shop that had "sale" posted on its window. i was hoping to make a "steal" of a buy but apparently, it wasn't really my day.

after some more "walking," my phone rang. it was a call from the office. on a saturday?! on my first-pay-libre-date day?? sadly, it was a call for help. my officemate was actually at the office by herself working on a request that was due that night. it was something i just had to do. no matter how much it sucked, it was something that i have to be professional about and so, to ortigas, we went. hahaha... i brought abi along with me. i worked for an hour since that was all that i could give for i had to be home by 7:30 for the party.

after working in the office, we immediately left for abi's house since her parents were kinda expecting her already. but the rain was pouring and it was upcat weekend so traffic would be hell at commonwealth. it was just the perfect combination for a perfect storm.

and so... i decided to bring abi home first. there, i introduced her to my relatives. it was really awkward at first... i mean, this was the first time that i brought a girl at a family party/dinner/celebration. she was the first, period.

yeah, i know, looooooong post.

after dinner, i finally took her home. we chatted along the way and we laughed at the comment that i made while over-taking a couple of vehicles on quezon circle. we marvelled, well i marvelled, on how it would make a perfect catch phrase for a high octane gasoline. of course, abi was just being abi, listening patiently to my kayabangan.

whew! long post! sorry... bumabawi lang... it's been a while since i wrote an entry.

sunday. (today)

after hearing mass, it was my family's turn to milk my atm account. hahaha...

i was planning to take them to a chinese restaurant. i figured that it will be more practical for me, and for my wallet, to take them to a chinese restaurant than to mario's. my dad, however, insisted that we should try zensho because they have this all-you-can-eat promo. he even offered to shoulder half of the bill since there were seven of us (my lola and my tito went with us). it was just an offer that i couldn't refuse! hahaha... kuripot talaga ako!

of course, tama na naman si papa, the place was good. we ordered so much that there was food on the edge of the table. the table was just overflowing with tempura, sushi, sashimi, tofu, oysters, tenderloins, sirloins, chicken... etc. it was a japanese food trip, plain and simple.

in the afternoon, my cousin ruy picked me up at my house to visit his brother quitos at the hospital. quitos suffered a near-fatal accident-of-sort when his lungs suddenly collapsed. it's a scary story that i'd rather not write too much about so i'll leave it at that.

so that's pretty much how my weekend went.

special thanks

2006-07-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

of course, i have to give thanks to the Almighty One.

man, this episode of my life really did a number on me, and for good reason. i now possess a stronger faith in God. I realize that He, alone, can make things happen for me. i mean, no matter how hard i try, it won't matter at all unless he allows it to happen for me.

so thank you Lord! i thank you for this wonderful opportunity that you've blessed me with.

employed

2006-07-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

as you may notice, i changed the title of my blog and that's because i just got accepted to mitchell madison group! i'm going to be a research analyst and i have to say that the work is pretty good.

finally, all the waiting and suffering paid off. truly, God works in his own mysterious ways. this is a great opportunity for a guy like me. i have to say that finding my ideal work was extra difficult because i graduated as an "ordinary" student---no honors.

well, now that im the happiest person on earth today, i would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people that helped me along the way.

liv- for giving me hope by telling me things that gave me hope hahahaha redundant, i know
jared- for the prayers and the "foot prints in the sand" message. that made my day, bro.
rap- for encouraging me to try out mmg
kit- for saying that i'm gonna be great one day... a real ego booster
ann- for telling me about the opening at mmg
dad- for telling me to hold out just one more time... it paid off!
abi- for always being there

if i forgot to mention your name, my sincerest apologies. God knows that i'm thankful that you were there for me in one way or another.

fingers crossed... really crossed

2006-07-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

boy, am i hoping my hardest this time. i really hope i get the job. i mean, it would really be a gift if i get it. this job would make the long wait so much worth it.

a tribute to chololo

2006-07-03T09:07:00.000+08:00

like the millions...and millions of pinoys, i saw the fight yesterday. yes, it was the fight between our superhero manny "pacman" pacquiao and oscar "chololo" larios. pacman won this one, clearly, by a mile. and as another filipino thirsting for glory, this is another quencher of sorts.

of course, the win wasn't unexpected because many, if not all, bet on pacquiao to walk through this fight. after all, the pinoys' pride and joy is truly one of the best, if not the best, pound-for-pound fighters in the world today. however, something else from that fight caught my attention---chololo's courage and grit. man, that guy can take a beating! i was surprised with his unwavering determination to keep on fighting like the warrior that he is. a true champion who never backed down despite being bombarded with some of the heaviest combinations. this guy showed me something and that was to go down swingin'. he kept on swingin' and he kept on taking as well. he showed pride and he showed heart... he never backed down.

of course, like any other fighter who faced pacquiao, he hoped to pull an upset but pacquiao was just too fast and too strong for him. being the class act that he is, he acknowledged pacman's superiority at the end of the fight.

the waiting begins

2006-07-03T08:59:00.000+08:00

now for the hard part...waiting. you see, mr. risk taker here has decided to hold out yet again.

boy, i must be out of my mind! but something tells me that i should hold out just one more time. and so, the waiting begins. bottomline, i'm either gonna be the big winner or just be the biggest dumb ass this planet has ever housed.

thinker

2006-07-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

a business person once said that i'm a "thinker" more than a "doer". at that time, i thought of it as a compliment of sort. i just didn't like the idea that i'm not a "doer" as well. in any case, i will admit that i really am more of a thinker but that doesn't mean that i don't "do" as well.

well, anyway, i'm still hoping to end this current episode of my life. i really feel like i'm close to being a broken man. for some reason, the devil-may-care attitude that i once had seemed to be forever lost. so what happened? i became the "thinker" that i am today. i became this logical being who relies on his rationale.

being that person, i struggle to accept what has become of me---a bum. you see, i always had this equation that i can succeed in anything that i put my mind into. call me cocky but that's what usually happens with me. i've always gotten away with half-hearted efforts, anyway. so now, now that i put my everything in, i expect the best results. however, that is not the case at all. my logic is defeated by a more powerful force. i'm thinking karma...

i'm stuck in the middle right now. my logic is working too much, i think. well, i think i'm thinking too much. i can't come up with a decision! crap! sh!t! fcuk! i'm just thinking too much right now. monday is fast approaching and i still don't know if what i'm about to do will be best for me. too many consequences, scenarios coming into mind... mr. logic is going crazy here.

risk

2006-06-29T21:36:00.000+08:00

i'm going to take a big risk. i'm foregoing a sure employment for something else. i say it's a risk because it is what it is. i'm gambling on something that totally defies conventional wisdom.

for a very logical person like myself, betting on something so unsure and so assymetrical is really difficult. but, i feel like it's something that i should be taking a risk on. afterall, how can it get any worse for me? i'm practically rock bottom right now...

i just want to have a shot at this. i don't even care about the pay anymore. all i know is that it's something that i would enjoy doing.

things

2006-06-27T16:39:00.000+08:00

hopeful
i'm hoping for the tide to turn in my favor very soon.

bitter
i'm bitter about a lot of things. boy, what i would give so i can punch fate on the face.

happy
someday i will find it easier to smile again.

restless

2006-06-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

i feel so damn restless right now. i hate it when i find myself having so much time at hand with nothing to do. i guess i have ateneo to blame for that and reasonably so. hey! it's hard to do nothing after doing so much became routine.

people tell me to savor what i have right now because once i start working, i'm not going to have "too much time" for myself. well to me, doing nothing is not a gift. it's a friggin' curse!

rest will always be so much sweeter after you've gone through hell.

i give up

2006-06-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

I GIVE UP! I'M GIVING IT ALL UP!

what more can i say?

2006-06-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

i received an offer today from one of the leading local banks. to be frank about it, the offer really isn't much to rejoice about. i mean, i like the work but the pay is really, really sucky. i mean, what more can i say? apparently, i can't have the best of both worlds. either, i do something i like or i get paid handsomely for doing something so trivial.

i'm really disappointed with the way things have turned out for me. this summer blows big time. i feel like i'm being pushed to settle. where the hell is the justice in the universe?! at least get me something good in exchange for missing out on law school... crappy crappy life so far.

what more can i say?

two sides of a coin

2006-06-09T21:11:00.000+08:00

envy, plain envy.

i envy those who are fortunate enough to go to admu law. it would just be hypocritical of me not to admit that. i still feel like having gotten the raw end of the deal. but that's just me, "bitter arvi"... always complaining. i know i have to move past this sometime soon but it's really hard when you don't have other things to feel good about lately.

fingers crossed

someone took faith in my abilities. anyway, i have a chance to get a really cool job. something that i always thought i'm good enough for... it's a long shot but i'm keeping my fingers crossed. hopefully, this will make a fair trade-off for missing law school. but, it's a really looooooooong shot. i'm praying hard.

so there you have it... bitter and optimistic. how much is it worth? first, we'll have to see which side lands on top.

stuff

2006-06-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

shoes
i bought two pairs of shoes today. tomorrow, i have to return one of the pairs to the store so i can have it exchanged for the right size. i got the pair one size bigger. the salesman was stupid enough to give the wrong size and i was more stupid for not checking it.

bellini's
never a disappointment. i will be back there tomorrow, this time, with a date!

rj
my little cousin is back from the states. yipee! now, i have another person to annoy the hell out of. my wrestling buddy is back! yeah!

bum
sadly, i'm still unemployed. it's really starting to tear me up inside. what a crappy summer... can't wait for the rainy season. i've never been good with summer heat anyway.

orsem
ateneo law is having it's orsem tomorrow. somehow, i feel left out. i have to say that i feel some amount of bitterness with the way things have turned out for me. but, that's just me...i'm a person who never forgets. i guess that's one of the downsides of being "trivia boy." right, liv?

a giant goes down

2006-06-02T14:51:00.000+08:00

when i read it, i just couldn't believe it. shaq was blocked so hard that he landed on his behind. i just had to see it for myself.

in a way, it's kinda nice to see someone so dominant and so imposing get hammered like that. we all know it doesn't happen too often, but big ben proved that everyone can be beaten at least once.

i guess even in life we have to go for those "one time" moments. who knows? maybe that nth time is the magic number.

please

2006-06-01T19:37:00.000+08:00

a prayer to the Almighty One

please let this be it.
i've had enough of so much.
i can definitely see myself doing this.
lord, please let this be it.
end this long summer of mine.

tv bashing

2006-05-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

it's common knowledge that there's so much crap on tv these days. so, as a person who cares, or rather as a person who enjoys to poke fun at things shown on tv, i am posting this to share some of my thoughts on tv crap. here it goes:

american idol

i was blown away by paris! i was like, "oh my! this girl can definitely sing!" naturally, i chose her to win the tournament. fast track to the final five or six... i was freaked out! i noticed the uncanny resemblance between paris and gary coleman!!! yuck! it just freaked me out. so yeah, im bashing paris for looking so much like gary coleman. but i'm not that shallow. i'm also bashing her for singing sexy songs while looking like gary coleman. i know it's so bad of me to bash her like that. talentwise, she's tops... but the resemblance is just so hard to ignore.

pinoy big brother

a hugely popular show in this country. never saw its point. never bothered to spend time to know any of the contestants. or should i say characters? they say it's "reality." i say it's a bunch of bullcrap! that's corruption of reality, plain and simple.

captain barbell

a new fantaserye based on the comic book character who tranforms into a superhero after holding a barbell above his head. well anyway, what annoyed me was the show's desperate attempt to pattern its story line after smallville. come on! give the filipinos a break. at least have some amount of originality when you give a new "interpretation" of a classic. the trailer gave it all away... stupid stupid story line.

wise ass

2006-05-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

i like to think of myself as a wise ass. i enjoy annoying people by giving them "witty" responses. but of course it doesn't happen all the time. sometimes, i'm just as annoyed that my comments aren't really to poke fun at something but rather to hurt someone for being that someone. i've learned, after a couple of years, that sarcasm is a powerful tool. instead of letting people say something bad about you, use that exact same thing to show them that you don't give a rat's ass about them or their opinion.

take for example some of our relatives. growing up, we, my siblings and i, were perceived as spoiled rich kids. the rich part i never understood since we weren't rich at all. i mean, i spent the first twenty years of my life living in an apartment owned by my grandparents. it just so happens that my parents taught us how to eat good food and how to live a nice comfortable life. but anyway, back to the topic. although they are right to some extent, i never really forgot about those days when i would feel bad for getting a toy, or having eaten something extraordinary, because of their side comments. so now, now that i'm able to carry a conversation on my own as an adult, i never let an opportunity to annoy them pass by without making an effort. see, i'm a person who never forgets. this might be my darkside but i'm not yet so sure.

one example would be whenever we'd get something new, which they would view as "extravagance" on our part; you can bet your a$$ that i'd beat them to the punch. i'd say, "well, it's so hard...all those money". of course, people would get offended by this "disrespectful" act and no one gets more offended than my lola. unfortunately for her, she's the one who gets most annoyed by my "wittyness." she really hates the fact that my siblings and i argue with her from time to time... well almost all the time, actually.

i really can't fathom how my parents, my aunts and my uncles define respect. they always remind us that it's better not to argue since that's how it was done during lola's time. "tumahimik ka na lang." but, see, i don't get it. for me, it 's like treating my lola as a child who can't comprehend nor understand logical discussions. i believe that i show her respect by expecting logical discussions with her. i respect her hence i argue with her... must be the lawyer's blood in me. i try to reason with her because i believe she's capable of understanding.

so now, i wonder. is it worth it? arguing with her because i respect her... or should i just "respect" her.

of course, by now you might have noticed that there is no coherent flow in this post. my apologies for that. there's practically no coherence in my thoughts lately.

hope

2006-05-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

just when i was about to sink to a new low... something came up. something that gave me reason to hope for better days.

this must be God's way of pushing my limits.

"just a little more, my son."

just when i'm about to give up on what i call "life" something would always happen. it never fails.

hey, i'm not complaining. in fact, i'm glad this always happens. at least, inspite of all the things that i went, and will go, through, there will always be that ray of light to look forward to.

still down

2006-05-26T20:01:00.000+08:00

im having a hard time getting up.

unlike that stupid shoe commercial that says "fall seven times, stand up eight." i mean, what the fcuk?! it just doesn't make sense. when you fall and you get up doesn't that mean one for one? meaning you just match every fall? so how come he gets up eight?? i know i know it's trying to make a point and i get the point but come on! it's just mathematically incorrect!

of course, i'm just ranting about something that doesn't really concern me. but that's just my nature. i like to poke fun at the stupid advertisements i see on the tv.

but anyway, back to the reason why i'm writing this entry. my summer is really something. one day i'm feeling happy, the next day i'm hitting rock bottom. then the whole process repeats itself. i get happy, i get sad. it's like experiencing the vicious cycle of being all in one friggin' summer!

to be honest, the cycle is taking its toll. i really feel like crumbling under and just giving up. it's hard to go through the same thing every damn day. man, i knew something was wrong when i... well i didn't know actually.

and just for the heck of it...

why in the world should i be feeling this way?? yeah yeah... "what doesn't kill makes you stronger?" "it's all gonna work out in due time?" hmmm...what else? "you're gonna get lucky soon?"

bottomline, this summer sucks big time!

on a healthier note, i believe that God has a plan for me.

but, for some reason, i'm finding it hard to wait for Him to work things out. the frustration is really eating me up inside.

down for the count

2006-05-25T23:26:00.000+08:00

the summer of my life... what a summer indeed!

this has to be the most emotional summer of my life. so many things have happened and im still reeling from the latest. my personal transition to the "real world" has not been easy at all. life has not been very forgiving lately.

i wish someone would intercede to stop the punches being thrown at me. it might not be long before i go down for the count.

da vinci code

2006-05-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

"mamatay daw si da vinci!"

that's what i said at the beginning of the movie. i was trying to be funny, obviously. i think my date bought it. but anyway, i''m writing this entry to share my take on the movie. after reading, and hearing, mixed reactions, i decided to see the movie for myself.

of course, i had my own presupposition entering the theater. i already expected a somewhat different interpretation of the book. i didn't expect it to follow the book scene for scene. i mean, come on! the film would definitely take more than two and a half hours if they decided to do that. basically, i was there to watch a film.

my verdict? i think the film was good. some scenes were a bit dragging but, overall, i think it was good. i particularly loved the film score. it kinda makes the hair on my skin rise especially in the last scene of the film. the actors were very good in playing their respective roles. i loved ian mckellen's...oops! SIR ian mckellen's portrayal of lee teabing. paul bettany was also very good. i felt his pain...hahaha. tom hanks was... well, he's tom hanks. oh! almost forgot. the amelie girl, audrey tatou, was tops. a very beautiful lady.

i can't wait for angels and demons. i liked that book better than the da vinci code. i wonder who will they get to play vittoria vetra.

ten simple things

2006-05-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

to address olivia's request... here are the ten simple things that i love.

1. driving eleanor, my car
2. eating out with friends/family/a girl... as long as it involves good food.
3. learning something new and useful
4. looking at the mirror... naks! (ang umangal may sipa! this is my blog!)
5. going out on a date
6. annoying my beloved sisters and other members of the household... and pretty much all the people that i care deeply about.
7. helping someone out
8. thinking
9. hugs and kisses (has to be both, for efficiency)
10. any "ahh" moment...sunset, sunrise, starry night...

i encourage everyone to do the same with their respective blogs. :)

not again

2006-05-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

holy kamote! it happened again.

remember that four hundred bucks that i couldn't spend on my previous date? well, as it turns out, i didn't have that amount of money after all. talk about dumb!

wanting to repay my date's generosity, i asked her out to lunch again. we went to Emerald to have a very traditional feast of noodles and dimsum. it was a hearty to meal, to say the least. being our second time in that place, we already knew what to order so we pretty much knew that we would enjoy our meal together. then came the bill... and that's where the excitement began.

to my horror and utter disbelief, i found less than two hundred bucks inside my wallet. (although, i would have to give props to myself for playing it cool in front of the waitress) but anyway, we ended up splitting the bill and so there goes the story of my life.

i spent the next several minutes figuring out where the rest of my four hundred bucks went. finally, while stuck in traffic, i was able to recall the meal i had before leaving that far-flung mall that i visit to enjoy Initial D. arrggh... addiction is really an enemy! i couldn't even remember my own actions. too much excitement, i guess.

moral of the story? check your friggin' wallet before you leave for a date, idiot!

cheapskate

2006-05-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

i went on a date today. it wasn't really a planned date or anything. it was more like one of those "im free, you're free so let's go!" kind of dates. anyway, the problem is that i didn't have much money to spare for the date. i have around four hundred bucks in my wallet and i still have the rest of the week to go through. truthfully, i needed to save for friday and saturday since i have a couple of engagements to attend to.

fortunately for me, my date was generous enough to pick me up at my house, since i'm also saving whatever gas is left in my car. i told her that maybe we should go to the park instead so we can avoid having to spend. some grand plan wasn't it? hahaha... a feeble attempt to keep a date romantic without having to shell out some dough.

at the end of the day, we couldn't keep ourselves from spending. since i couldn't spend much, she had to pay for our snacks. talk about an ego-crushing scenario... having the girl pay for everything. however, i wasn't crushed at all since it has become a habit of ours to alternate on shouldering the bill. still, i couldn't help but think about myself---what a cheapskate!

chalk it up again for being unemployed. one of the best things about being a student is having the "right" to depend on weekly allowances from your parents. well, i'm not a student anymore (even though i still could've been if we had the money for law school). i'm having a hard time going through the day without doing much except staying at home since i made it a point to ask for some money only when i have a job interview lined up.

it's hard to be stuck in the middle of things. i'm not a student and yet i'm not working either. i'm just a bum right now.

hooked

2006-05-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

i'm hooked! it's not on drugs or gambling but it's on an arcade game. imagine that, im reverting back to my childhood days. my poison is the game called Initial D. it's a street racing game based on the popular anime of the same title. although i'm just a beginner, i'm starting to appreciate the finer points of the game. i'm starting to realize that it's not about how much horses your car packs. it's about how you drive your car.

yesterday, i was racing with my cousin in a far away mall, we go there for the cheap tokens. he was using the lancer evolution against my mazda rx7. right of the bat, i knew that his car has more power and better traction. but, i also knew that if i drive right i'll have a chance of beating him and i sure did. atlhough, it actually took me quite a while, and a lot of tokens, to find a way of beating him.

at the end of the day, i found myself browsing through racing sites to absorb as much knowledge as i can about proper handling. for a guy who enjoys spirited driving on the streets, this game sure presents a safer way of expressing that passion. who knows, maybe one day i can apply my newly acquired mountain-pass-driving-skills on the zigzags leading to baguio. i just hope i don't end up wrecking my car.

holding out

2006-05-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

for the past couple of months, i have been turning down job offers from different companies as they weren't enticing enough for me. the a-hole in me wants something better so i decided to hold out until a good offer comes. but summer is almost over and i still haven't encountered a "good enough" offer.

honestly, i'm starting to get worried since i have set june as my personal "deadline". if by then i still don't have a job i really wouldn't know what to do anymore.

man... i never expected "real life" to be so trying. i have never expected to feel this way after graduation. i mean, after all, we paint a picture of what would become of us after graduating from college. i personally saw myself walking along an avenue somewhere in makati wearing a long sleeved shirt and a cool tie. i saw myself driving around in a convertible and having the time of my life. i saw myself kicking-ass in the business world. basically, i saw grand things for myself. i painted a big picture of myself in my mind. now it's as if that painting will just remain in my imagination.

as my "vacation" ends, i start to think on what i'm holding out for. i mean, is there really something out there for me to hold out for? i never thought i will end up being mediocre after college. i despised the idea of being one. i never liked it when i was one and i swore to never be one again. but from the looks of it, it seems that i might be one, once again. it's really hard to bear but if i'll have no choice then that's the story of my life. i guess i'll just have to tough it out for the mean time.

greatness

2006-05-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

"greatness no matter how shortlived stays with you" --- not mine

a friend once said that i'll be great someday. i don't know if she was just trying to console me or if she really meant it. the thought stayed at the back of my mind...

samar

2006-05-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

an eighteen hour drive can make a person go mad. i was close to losing my bearings. the drive to samar was incredibly long and the rough roads along the way made it even more unbearable. it was actually one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.

but it was all worth it! samar was better than i have ever expected it to be. we were in awe of its natural beauty. the beaches were just... wow! i would even dare say that they are better than those of boracay.

we visited three different beaches. each had there own character. all made us stay for just a little longer.

the people there were so nice to us. our relatives really made an effort to make us feel welcomed. the food, the parties, the dinners, the lunches, the trips... were all well thought of by our dear uncle on-on. the crabs were superb! the gata dishes were delightful. it was really a foody's experience to remember. imagine, we were feasting on ten-thousand-peso-worth fighting cocks!

for us, samar became our personal three-day paradise. we all agreed to visit it again next year and stay much longer. after all, with sights like these... you can never get enough of samar.

Crab-ehh!

2006-05-02T15:31:00.000+08:00

grabe! this dish just did it for all of us in samar. personally, i've never eaten crab this good. i still utter the word crab-ehh up to now. i keep on saying it, in fact, that my sister is actually contemplating on having me murdered for being so damn irritating.

even if i try to, i wouldn't be able to describe the taste of this heavenly dish. it was soooo good. so good that it made the eighteen hour drive to samar even more worth our while. it was so good that we, four manileños, feasted on a bucket-load.

would you believe that there's no name for such a wonderful experience?

i named it crab-ehh simply because it's so so so good. oh! and the sauce... man, the sauce was the killer!

who cares if i gain some weight eating this dish? it's worth every pound... worth every pound.

shattered dreams

2006-04-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

i went to the ateneo professional schools hoping to have my slot deferred for one year. it didn't happen. i was told to take the exam again next year if i still wanted to push through with law school. to be honest, i was kinda expecting that answer.

then, i realized... this is it. this is really it. i am really going to forfeit my slot. my heart sank.

for some reason, i felt really sad about the whole thing. it felt like i was really going to miss out on something good. as i walked away slowly, i looked around and i decided to stay on the floor for a while. i started taking pictures in my memory. i looked at the classrooms. i looked at the windows. i looked at the ceiling. i was trying to remember as much visual as i can.

then, i walked towards the bulletin board that held the list of qualifiers and stood in front of it. i stared at my name for some time. i almost wept. eto na nga, lalagpasan na nga ako ng isang pagkakataon na maaring hindi na maulit.

before leaving, i passed by the chapel...this became a habit of mine ever since i started visiting that campus. i prayed to God. i asked Him for guidance. i need that right now in my life. i really do.

good things

2006-04-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

two more days and it's enrollment time for ateneo law. my mind is set that im not going. but still, knowing that it's just around the corner makes me think about what i'll miss. i know i'll miss something good and it's hard to take.

just this afternoon, after my interview with citibank, i bumped into my aunt outside citibank tower. she's on her way to work. she works at romulo-mabanta, a prestigious law firm in this country. in that brief moment, i thought of ateneo law and what could be if i were to study for four more years. good things came into my mind at that time... good things.

oh man, if only i am in a perfect world... but i'm not.

thanks, but no thanks

2006-04-23T13:50:00.000+08:00

i have decided. i'm not going to take their offer. i'm not comfortable with it and truthfully, i feel like i would be selling my soul if i do accept it. "soul" a big word don't you think? but honestly, i hate the idea of basing my decision, to join them, on money. not to mention, the fact that i'll be tying myself down to them.

nothing against fraternities... my dad was and is a fratman. i've seen the advantages of belonging to a particular brotherhood. but, it's not just me, at least not for now. i have more important things, about myself, to deal with.

lawschool can always wait. heck, i don't even know if i really want to become a lawyer. for all i know, i might be getting worried over nothing. one year out in the real world might give me a different perspective.

i have to build a new comfort zone for myself.

financial aid

2006-04-22T16:59:00.000+08:00

i just received an offer of sorts from a fratman. he's promising financial aid from their fraternity if i join them this summer. all i have to do is pay for my first sem tuition and produce good grades then they'll take it from there. in my opinion, it's a fair enough stipulation. the only thing i have a problem with is having "utang na loob" to the fraternity.

i have to say, i'm apprehensive about the idea of accepting the proposal. for one, i've set my mind into working already. another is that my dad certainly wouldn't approve of this. then of course, there's utang na loob...

i have to think about this really well. i can't deny that they are presenting a great opportunity. but, i also can't deny that there are also several reasons that should keep me from taking their offer.

i have exactly five days to go before enrollment. after that, i will officially forfeit my slot... sayang ang slot, i know.

i need guidance.

good enough

2006-04-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

i just found out this afternoon... i'm good enough! i'm good enough for admu law. i have to say, the validation feels damn good!

judgement day

2006-04-21T09:41:00.000+08:00

today, i'll find out if i passed the interview. i've got to say, i'm pretty scared for a guy who won't be pursuing it anyway. i guess, i want the validation. in any case, whatever the outcome of my "honest interview" i'm pretty sure it will put things in place. if i pass then i pass. if i fail then i fail.

for the first time, a part of me wishes that i don't make it. para wala na akong panghinayangan.

eleanor

2006-04-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

on a happier note...

my car is getting fixed! hopefully, by the end of this week, eleanor will be sporting a new paint job.

yes, i named my car. eh ano ba sa paki nyo kung may pangalan car ko?! hahaha... at least it's not like jared's "buknoy" (sobrang kenkoy) or gerald's "lolita" (sobrang laswa ng dating)...hehehehe